Hans Fischer

Mrs. Ahrens is preparing for her trip to the Maldives by trying out her XXL diving suit when she collides with the gay couple living on the same floor for an improvised Xmas Eve gathering starring a special guest, the famed singer Boris.

Zobel and Karl are a long time gay couple who live together in a trailer home with Lizzie, Zobel's spunky daughter from a heterosexual misadventure. Together these three form a team of thieves who eke out an existence as pickpockets. After a botched job, Karl becomes unable to work, forcing Zobel and Lizzie to seek out a new partner. Lizzie recruits Rudolf, the boyishly charming town misfit. Reluctantly, Zobel allows Rudolf to join them but warns him to never break the golden rule: "No exchanging of bodily fluids within the team." This dictum becomes increasingly difficult to live by as Lizzie's cravings and Zobel's own passions toward Rudolf intensify. Eventually, the golden rule is broken by Lizzie...and then again by Zobel (unbeknownst to Lizzie, of course). An intricate love triangle soon develops amongst the three that is shaped by deception, desire, and betrayal.

Bernard, Sleeper Coach conductor and automobile inventor, is confused to be the racing car company president, and falls in love with a countess, who is actually a slogan prize winner chorine.